Hunter Biden Found Guilty Of All Three Felonies In Federal Gun Trial

(Chaz Anon) In a dramatic and somewhat predictable twist, the progeny of the Commander-in-Chief, Hunter Biden, has met the sharpened edge of the American justice system, being found guilty on all three felony counts in his federal gun trial.

The jurors, after a mere three hours of deliberation, delivered their verdict in the storied Biden enclave of Wilmington, Delaware, following a week-long theatrical display of prosecutorial zeal.

According to the Associated Press, the felonious allegations stem from Hunter's 2018 acquisition of a revolver. The prosecution argued with righteous fervor that the younger Biden had committed the sin of perjury on a mandatory gun-purchase form, denying his status as an illicit user or addict of narcotics—an assertion that the jurors found to be a mendacious affront to federal law.

The guilty verdicts encompass lying to a federally licensed gun dealer, fabricating a falsehood on the application regarding his drug use, and unlawfully possessing the firearm for a span of eleven days.

Hunter Biden now stares down the barrel of a potential 25-year prison sentence, to be handed down by Judge Maryellen Noreika. However, in a judicial system where first-time offenders seldom receive the full measure of retribution, the specter of actual incarceration remains shrouded in ambiguity. Whether the scales of justice will tilt toward leniency or severity in this high-profile case remains to be seen.